Gurindam: “Dimana boleh cari Melayu”

Di mana boleh di cari Melayu
Bukan semua Melayu lesu dan layu
Ramai juga Melayu yang berilmu
Terbit dari Melayu UMNO baru

Generasi Tun Dr. Mahathir generasi Melayu maju
Generasi Melayu yg. berani mendahulu
Ramai juga terdapat di dalam portal politik seperti MyKMU
Yang setia menyokong Pejuang Melayu
Yang menentang pengkhianat bangsa ku

Melayu KMU, Melayu revolusiku

Di mana boleh di cari Melayu
Di tingkat 4 JPM juga boleh ketemu
Berhingus meleleh tak reti nak sapu
Melayu muda, kerjanya merapu
Lebih hina dari batang penyapu

Dimana boleh cari Melayu,

Di NSTP pun ramai Melayu
Walaupun kulit hitam biru,
Mengaku juga orang Melayu

Walaupun dahulu sepatah haram bunyi kaku

Dimana boleh cari Melayu
Maklumlah Melayu senang di tipu
Harapkan pemimpin Melayu, macam kayu
Alahai! PM YDP pun akhirnya ikut menipu

Dimana boleh di cari Melayu
Orang Kepala Batas keturunan ahli ilmu
Dahulu penjawat awam zaman Tunku
Kini bank pelaburan milik menantu

Dimana boleh di cari Melayu
Keturunan pedagang Selangor masyhur itu
Ayahanda pula di TV3 sanggup menipu
Syarikat anaknya Scomi kini begitu maju

Dimana boleh di cari Melayu
Parti Keramat ditatah sebegitu
Kini menjadi platform orang tertentu
Agenda peribadi mereka letak dahulu

Dimana boleh di cari Melayu
Masyarakat pulau negeri begitu sayu
Ketinggalan pembangunan kerana lesu
Percayakan PM sebagai orang yang direstu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Rakyat segenap pelusuk setuju
Memberi mandat Perdana Menteri baru
Dewan Rakyat 91% dimenangi padu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Mula mula timbul AP berpuluh ribu
Menjejaskan Proton beratus jurutera kaumku
CEO pula berganti yang baru

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
CEO MAS anak ustaz Kawasan Melayu
Diganti dengan eksekutif Shell rumpun Melayu
PM YDP ingatkan umat junjungan mu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
MAS disekat, AirAsia terus maju
Eksekutif Melayu ditunjukan pintu
Digantikan dengan Cina dan penganut Hindu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
MTB KLIA belum cukup tepu
Bukanya ada timbul perlu
LCC Terminal dibina baru
Akhirnya MTB megah sunyi pilu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Jambatan Baru diJohor Baru
PM YDP umum rakyat tak mahu
Berbohong agenda jual pasir cadangan baru

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Puas Kepemimpinan terdahulu
Meletakan kepentingan Bangsa Melayu
Agar tidak direndahkan hina malu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Dengan Singapura cukup tersipu
Bermain golf bertepuk bahu
Maruah Bangsa digadai semudah itu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Kini cina tua kutuk Pulau itu
Memomokan keturunan seluruh Bangsaku
PM YDP HANYA setakat tanyakan penjelasanmu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Apa nak jadi masa depan Bangsaku
Kalau pemimpin sebegini kelu
Kekuatan Singapura diangguk setuju

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Berkumpul sekelian orang tidak setuju
Memberikan pendapat dalam MyKMU
Agar boleh dilakukan sesuatu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Apabila Sahabat datang mengadu
PM YDP dengar termanggu
Menantu dikeluarkan dari Pejabatku

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
NTSP dahulu lidah pengarangku
Pengarang Melayu semua ditunjukan pintu
Kini penuh bukan Melayu termasuk dewa Hindu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Dahulu broker saham BBMBku
Sekarang dibeli cina penganalisa baru
Dinamakan sempena alat timbang penipu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Syarikat Melayu dijual mudah sebegitu
Siapa Imam Syiah Dewa Hindu
Mampu berganding modal dengan Menantu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Menantu lulusan sekolah Inggeris termaju

Kini bergelar pegamal bank pelaburan terbaru
Membolot syarikat milik Negara mudah sebegitu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Akaun dilipat, pemegang saham kecil ditipu
Security Commission buat buat terkeliru
Bila ditanya PM YDP, dia cakap tak tahu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Syarikat dulu diketuai keturunan Tengku
Kini cina menjadi teraju
Nama berubah kepada ECM Libra - Avenue

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Kini cerita diumpat sebegini laju
Seluruh pelusuk, rakyat berseru
Tak kan boleh jadi begitu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Bila rakyat kuat menyeru
Mula mejadi penutup muka cerita baru

Rancangan untuk sekali lagi menipu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Saham dijual kerana perlu
Rugi pun tak apa, itu korbanku
Kunun kunun hendak tunjuk kepempinan penentu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Kini timbul pula cerita baru
Anak tua lebih niaga tetap mahu
KTMB menjadi sasaranku

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Perjanjian khidmat keretapi kePulau itu
Jika dihentikan, tanah dirampas sebegitu
Sekarang tanah, dirancang untuk dimaju

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Sudahlah kontrak membaik pulih semua kesitu
Peniaga Melayu lain tengok kelu
Peluang berniaga kurang, pengusaha berpuluh ribu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Usaha banyak Pemimpin dahulu
Kini tinggal cerita, semua hanya tongkat bahu
Tak siapa tahu kemana hala tuju

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
RMK 9 menjadi harapanku
Titik tolak, survival syarikat beribu
Semua sanggup diam, lidah menjadi kelu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Kini hanya tinggal tak seberapa yang mahu
Keadaan makin teruk, tak ramai mengaku
Takut hilang peluang tender baru

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Ramai orang amat keliru
Mungkinkah PM yang dipilih itu
Sebenarnya tak ubah tunggul kayu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Segenap pelusuk dicanang begitu
MyTeam dicari pusingan penentu
Benggali Johor jurulatih pilihanku

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Jawapan “I dont know” cukup selalu
Bukit Jalil Jalur Gemilang rakyat “boo”
PM YDP datang pakai baju unggu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Dimanakah maruah dan jatidiri Bangsaku
Jika Jalur Gemilang mampu di”boo”

PM YDP tengok ini sambil tersipu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Menteri BANGGANG jenis andartu
Nak buat pusat sukan yang baru
Beratus juta ditempat jauh sangat tu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Berkumpul mereka diKelab Century itu
Berdialog dengan ramai Melayu
Mendengar isu dikupas satu persatu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
PM YDP berangkat kePerth bersama anak cucu
Rupanya anak beli rumah baru
Tempat keluarga sembunyi dari dipalu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Lebanon dan Gaza diserang serbu
Umat Islam dibunuh beribu
Oleh Zionis Yahudi, musuh seteru

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
PM YDP Pengerusi persatuan Umatku
Lambat bertindak semacam kelu
Keseluruh dunia Islam kita dimalu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Dr Mahathir bercuti dengan anak cucu
Mahu jumpa golongan siswa ke UK dituju
Dihalang kerana MSD tak setuju

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Sambutan pulang dianjur MyKMU
Pemimpin Agung senyum tersipu
Bercakap dengan media diatas Pajeroku

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Program dirancang ke KB dituju
Pengerusi Perhubungan jatuh kena batu
Masuk hospital pembedahan perlu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Dari Perth, dia menelefon selalu
Minta Mubarak tarik diri dari Maljis itu
Dollah Kok Lanas tampil dengan idea baru

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Ibrahim Ali ke airport ditunggu
Menanti Boss lama datang pagi itu
Tanggal 28 Jul tarikh dipersetuju

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Sejurus Dr Mahathir naik ke Pajeroku
Anasir Nik Sapeia membuat semua keliru
Ramai kena dipancit gas pemedih itu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Hiba hati, melihat dibuat begitu
Bekas pemimpin pedih melulu
Angkara perbuatan anak Bangsa Melayu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Hotel Perdana semua berpusu
Ini kali Dr Mahathir bantai serbu
Nama disebut, satu persatu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Berkumpul pulak Pemuda PJU
Seruling dimain, semua syahdu
Dr Mahathir ungkit sejarah Tanah Melayu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Keluar pulak arahan baru
Mesyuarat HANYA dirasmikan orang tertentu

Tidak termasuk bekas Presiden dulu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Dato’ Zahidi makin bercelaru
Jemputan Dialog tiada tempat bila perlu
Program dibatal, tertanggung malu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
DiTV 3 Annuar Zaini interview
Pentadbiran tiada lagi penglibatan menantu
Syarikat anak berniaga TANPA bantuanku

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Kini timbul amaran keras jitu
Bloggers dan laman web celupar itu
Akan dikerjakan satu persatu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Majlis bicara dengan MyKMU
Dr Mahathir menitis terkenang pilu
Perjuangan dimulakan ramai setuju

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Dr Mahathir menyebut satu persatu
Scomi mendapat banyak kontrak baru
Oil for food program, PM YDP menipu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Sanusi Junid bercerita panjang dia mampu
Giliran Mukhriz bertemu MyKMU
Banyak juga diluah sebelum ini kelu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Fokus pergerakan untuk Kubang Pasu
Kekuatan Parti digerakan kesitu
Ramai pemimpin kesana tertumpu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Setiausaha Agung berusaha juga kesitu
Alasanya “tengok kolam ikan dan itik menyudu”
Padahal merancang untuk dibuat sesuatu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Malam Jumaat 8 September itu
Tok Jo, Tok Man dan bekas ahli MKT itu
Kempen agar Perwakilan gelincirkan nawaitu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Darulaman Golf Club tempat berlaku
Ada orang nampak sampul sampul cokolat tu
Beberapa Ketua Cawangan masukan dalam saku

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Pagi 9 September Tun Dr. Mahathir Kubang Pasu
Di Kepala Batas, kami pun menunggu
Ke Dewan Wawasan lepas tu kami meluru

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Tun masuk Dewan, meriah sambutan Kubang Pasu
Sukanya orang kampung tidak terkelu
Kami merasakan sokongan ikhlas dikalbu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Undian diadakan selepas sajian dijamu
Tun Dr. Mahathir memerhati, dari tepi terpaku
Ramai Perwakilan datang untuk bertemu

Dimanakan boleh cari Melayu
43 Perwakilan pilih termakan kempen negatif itu
Tun terkejut berita undian sebegitu
Kecewa kerana begitu murah kesetiaan dan nawaitu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Perjumpaan diaturkan MyKMU
120 wartawan dan bloggers ke YKP dituju
Tun meluahkan perasaan kecewa diKalbu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Tun meluahkan PM YDP menipu
Terang terang depan wartawan seramai itu
Skandal Oil for food saja dibagi tahu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Ke Pakistan Tun bergegas menuju
Sidang tentang cendikiawan Islam bersatu
DiKazakhstan Tun dinobat dalam gudang ilmu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Merata negara Asia Tengah dan Barat dapat dituju
HANYA dalam 10 hari perjalanan singkat itu
Banyak sanjungan dan penghormatan diberi kepada Melayu

Dimana boleh cari Melayu
keCuba semua berpusu
Pengerusi NAM beralih bangku
Ke revoluntionist Cuba dari Melayu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Bergegas ke New York di tuju
Presiden Bush janji bertemu
Sekejap sahaja untuk dapat peluang itu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
PM YDP kata tiada lagi dibantu
Pentadbiran Kerajaan oleh menantu
TETAPI Beruk Hitam keNew York meluru

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Bersama Presiden Bush pembunuh itu
Bermesra macam saudara bukan seteru
55 minit masa pertemuan berlalu

Dimanakan boleh cari Melayu
Masuk PM YDP ke bilik untuk bertemu
Disergah Bush yang kurang ajar itu
Gabra PM YDP terus termanggu!

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Rupanya jelas niat dikalbu
PM YDP jumpa Bush untuk merayu
Kes Scomi dan Iraq disenyapkan sebegitu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
PM YDP menyebut soal Islam diperjelas perlu
Katanya Presiden Bush juga setuju
Islam ditafsir menjadi keliru

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
55 minit masa bertemu
Tidak sedikitpun diutarakan PM YDP itu
Kes 2 banduan diGuantanamo orang Melayu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Pope hina Rasulullah terbaru
Sekejap itu maaf terus maaf di maju
Ikhlas di terima PM YDP Melayu

Dimana boleh cari Melayu
MKT UMNO mesyuarat hari tu
Presiden UMNO mengubah minitku
Sungguh berbegil pendirian tertentu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
3 helai minit yang minta disiat itu
Terkandung perbincangan soal Kubang Pasu
Membincang terperinci mengagalkan Presiden dahulu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Dr Rais Yatim MKT UMNO berbudaya itu
Menentang arahan Presiden yang terbaharu
TETAPI Presiden PM YDP tetap kemahuanku!

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Perbincangan kes Zahrin diberi tumpu
Cadangan Lembaga Disiplin tidak diperaku
Presiden PM YDP mahu Zahrin dipecat sebegitu!

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Buka puasa keDewan Merdeka semua bertumpu
Beribu hadirin termasuk anak yatim menunggu
PM YDP imamkan, akhbar siarkan muka satu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Dikalangan ramai UMNO yang hadir malam itu
Terkeluar bunyi bunyi terbaharu
Kemungkinan ada DPM selain yang ada itu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Orang PM YDP sekarang ada rasa tak setuju
Kepimpinan waris Tun Razak mungkin tiada diperlu
Mencari kemungkinan bagi ke orang Muo sedia menunggu

Dimanakah boleh cari Melayu
Sekarang sudah timbul perbincangan baru
Nampaknya PM YDP tidak selesa dengan apa yang dihidang dulu
Mungkin beliau sekarang mahukan pilihanku

 

Kuala Lumpur

5 Oktober, 2006

 

 

*Glossari: PM YDP = Perdana Menteri Yang Disalah Pilih

 

Jentayu

Di paruhmu kemilauan sinar
Menyepuhi sejuta rasa
Kemulian di hatimu
Bening budi terdampar di jagat raya

Di sayap taufan kau jelajahi
Awan gemawan membawa rindu
Kasihmu menentangi kezaliman
Ketidakadilan

Jentayu
Patah sayap bertongkat paruh
Jentayu
Patah paruh bertongkat siku
Jentayu
Patah siku bertongkat dagu
Jentayu
Patah dagu bertongkat kuku

 

This happened to be my most favourite Sheila Majid song. This song was a duet with Nora. It was produced by former husband, Roslan Aziz or RAP.

If I am not mistaken, the lyrics of this song was from national laureate’s Dato’ Usman Awang’s poem, with the same title.

The meaning of this song is very abstract. The fight still have to be continued, with what ever resources and ability that one has, with the utmost sincerity. This is about “Perjuangan”. This is what prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. wanted Muslims to stood for.

The fatal beating

“Now Mr. Perkins, its good for you to come in. I realized that you are a busy man but I don’t think this matter could be discussed, through the electric telephone”

“No, no absolutely not Headmaster. If Tommy is in some sort of trouble, I’d like to nip it in the bud”

“Quite frankly, Tommy is in trouble. Recently, his behaviour, has left something great deal to be desired. He seemed to have no interests in school life, what so ever. He refused to muck in on the sports field. And its weeks since any masters have received any written work from him…..”

“Dear me….”

“Quite frankly Mr. Perkins, if he wasn’t dead, I’d have him expelled!”

“Expelled???? I beg you pardon!”

“Yes, expelled! If I wasn’t making allowances for the fact he is dead, he’ll be out on his ears”

“Tommy is dead????”

“Yes, he’s lying upstairs in sick bay now. Stiff as a board and in bright grim. This is I fear, typical of his current attitude. You see, the boy has no sense of moderation. One moment he is flying around like paper kite and the next, he is completely immovable. And beginning to smell!”

“How did he die????”

“Is that important?”

“Yes I think so!”

“Well, it all got to do with the library. You see, we had a lot of trouble with boys taking out library books without library cards. Your son was caught and I administered a beating during which he died. You’ll be glad to know the ring leader was caught. So I think we will not any more trouble with library discipline. You see the library card system……….”

“You beat my son to death????”

“So it would seem. Please, I am used to be interrupted. You see the library card system was introduced…………………………….”

“Exactly, what happened????”

“Apparently the boys were slipping into the library and taking the books!”

“I mean during the beating!”

“Oh that! Well, one moment he was bending over and the next moment he was lying down…….”

“Dead????”

“Dead-ish. Mr. Perkins, I find this morbid fascination of yours with your son’s death quite disturbing. What I am talking about is his “attitude” and quite frankly I could see it where he gets it from”

“To beat him to death????”

“It’s perfectly obvious to me when he first day he arrived here, I wondered then as I wondered now, he might turn out to be a different boy indeed if you had administered a few ‘fatal beatings’ earlier”

“Are you mad????”

“I am furious! In order to accommodate the funeral, I had to cancel afternoon school on Wednesday”

“This is preposterous!”

“Yes it is. Or at least it was if it was true!”

“What????”

“I’ve been joking Mr. Perkins. It’s my strange academic sense of humour. I’ve been pulling your legs”

“Oh oh ho……..Thank God!”, the relieved man said

“I wouldn’t cancel afternoon to bury that little shit!”

This was a sketch by remarkable British comic, Rowan Atkinson, playing the Headmaster and Angus Deayton as Mr. Perkins (Tommy Perkin’s father). I first saw this sketch when was aired, after it was filmed at Boston University, circa 1992.

Rowan Atkinson love to play the characters of headmaster/schoolmaster, vicar, drunken father-in-law, amongst other things in his stand-up sketches. This sketch clearly depicts the attitude of a typical dinasouric-regimented-bourgeosie-public school Headmaster, who will time and again vehemently stress on issues like ‘discipline, attitude and the life of an academician’.

I was introduced to Atkinson’s work in the late eighties, through “Black Adder III” and later “Black Adder Goes Forth”, both aired by BBC and my favourite British sitcoms. Of course there’s the “Mr. Bean” series, which caught his fame for slapstick comedy this part of the world. Then there were the “Thin Blue Line”, him playing a lame police inspector in Gosforth, a village near to his Newcastle hometown.

There are these two other favourite sketches of mine in this BU staged performance called “No one called Jones” and “The dating lesson” but somehow I cannot publish it here (Its too vulgar!)

Perjuangan belum selesai

“Perjuangan Belum Selesai”

Sesungguhnya tidak ada yang lebih menyayat hati
Dari melihat bangsaku dijajah
Tidak ada yang lebih menyedihkan
dari membiarkan bangsaku dihina
Air mata tiada ertinya
Sejarah silam tiada maknanya
Sekiranya bangsa tercinta terpinggir
Dipersenda dan dilupakan

Bukan kecil langkah wira bangsa
Para pejuang kemerdekaan
Bagi menegakkan kemuliaan
Dan darjat bangsa
Selangkah bererti mara
Mengharung sejuta dugaan
Biarkan bertatih
asalkan langkah itu yakin dan cermat
bagi memastikan negara
merdeka dan bangsa terpelihara
air mata sengsara
mengiringi setiap langkah bapa-bapa kita

Tugas kita bukan kecil
Kerana mengisi kemerdekaan
Rupanya lebih sukar dari bermandi
Keringat dan darah menuntutnya
Lagi pula apalah ertinya kemerdekaan
Kalau bangsaku asyik mengia
Dan menidakkan,
Mengangguk dan membenarkan,
Kerana sekalipun bangganya negara
kerana makmur dan mewahnya
bangsaku masih melata
dan meminta-minta di negaranya sendiri

Bukan kecil tugas kita
Meneruskan perjuangan kemerdekaan kita
Kerana rupanya selain memerdekakan,
Mengisi kemerdekaan jauh lebih sengsara

Bangsaku bukan kecil hati dan jiwanya
Bukankah sejak zaman berzaman
Mereka menjadi pelaut, pengembara
Malah penakluk terkemuka?
Bukankah mereka sudah mengembangkan sayap
Menjadi pedagang dan peniaga
Selain menjadi ulama dan ilmuwan terbilang?
Bukankah bangsaku pernah mengharung
Samudera menjajah dunia yang tak dikenal
Bukankah mereka pernah menjadi
wira serantau
Yang tidak mengenal erti takut dan kematian?

Tugas kita belum selesai rupanya
Bagi memartabat dan memuliakan bangsa
kerana hanya bangsa yang berjaya
akan sentiasa dihormati
Rupanya masih jauh dan berliku jalan kita
Bukan sekadar memerdeka dan mengisinya
tetapi mengangkat darjat dan kemuliaan
buat selama-lamanya
Hari ini, jalan ini pasti semakin berliku
Kerana masa depan belum menjanjikan syurga
Bagi mereka yang lemah dan mudah kecewa

Perjuangan kita belum selesai
Kerana hanya yang cekal dan tabah
Dapat membina mercu tanda
Bangsanya yang berjaya.

- Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad (Malam Puisi Utusan, 4 Mei 1996)

Inilah sajak yang dinukil dan deklimasikan oleh mantan Perdana Menteri dan Presiden UMNO, Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad di Malam Puisi Utusan, 4 Mei 1996. Sajak ini membawa erti yang amat bermakna dan mendalam sebagai pesanan seorang negarawan unggul kepada kita, generasi dan pewaris Negara, agar tidak alpa kerana begitu banyak perlu dibuat dan bereskan, dalam proses mengisi dan menentukan Kemerdekaan, dalam erti kata sebenar dikekalkan.

Sajak ini telah dilagukan pada tahun 2000, diterbitkan oleh Dato’ Wah Idris dan dinyanyikan oleh Nora.

Sempena Sambutan 50 tahun Kemerdekaan besok, disini ingin dibawa semua mengimbau kembali kejayaan Negara, menjadi tuanrumah Sukan Commonwealth XVI 11-21 September 1998, meletakan nama Malaysia sebagai negara Asia pertama menganjurkan sukan berprestij itu dan dipersada antarabangsa, sebagaimana disampaikan dalam lagu thema Sukom ‘98, “Standing in the eyes of the world“, ditulis oleh Dato’ Wah Idris dan David Gates dan dinyanyikan oleh Ella.

Never enough of Lat!

Last Wednesday, in anticipation of the school holidays which started Friday evening, I took Girl-Girl to Borders bookstore, The Curve, Mutiara Damansara. We went Lat hunting and bought her RM 200.00 worth of Dato’ Mohd. Nor Khalid’s previous works.

It’s my effort to help her understand some of the heritage and snapshots of an average Malaysian life. Being Malaysian, is the flavour of this 50th Merdeka celebrations, which was launched by the Prime Minister Dato’ Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi last night.

So can’t help herself and our home is filed with her laughter every now and then since this ‘Lat build up’. Of course I had to guide to most of what Lat drew because most of them are issues at that very moment which affected average Malaysians. Issues include how Malaysians behave overseas, taken in stride through its witty sarcasm and cynicism.

On Friday, my father was admitted to Damansara Hospital for minor chest pains and he had to do the angiogram again, after nine years. So she brought her entire collection of Lat and that cheered my old man, in his mixed feelings of fear and worry.

Father was a former Civil Servant, who retired optionally to start his own business, just before the “super bull run” of early 90s. So he went through most of Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad’s pre-Vision 2020 announcement administration and policies for economic development. He assumed directorship of a Federal Government agency a month before Dr. Mahathir sworn into office, 17 July 1981. Therefore, reading Lat brought back a lot of bitter and sweet memories for him. Now, both are retired. There is one special edition dedicated for Dr. Mahathir, a compilation of caricatures about him called “Dr. Who?!“.

Of course the Oppositions were not spared.

 

Visiting foreign monarchs on official capacity were neither spared.

I hope Girl-Girl learn more about Malaysia and the people from Lat. I know I did. When my father bought my first Lat in 1977, I learned a lot of new things as a nine year old boy. Horse racing, general elections, political satire and a newspaper cartoonist in training in London. Then there was “The Kampung Boy“, during when he grew up in his tin mining village near Batu Gajah, Perak and his adolescence years in Ipoh captured in “The Town Boy“.

He first started in NST as a junior crime reporter and in 1974, his cartoon artistry talents were accidentally discovered. Soon enough, Tan Sri A Samad Ismail made him the resident cartoonist/caricaturist and he became an instant hit. The rest is history. His works are very popular, even in neighbouring Singapore and translated into other languages.

I am utterly convinced Dato’ Mohd. Nor Khalid should be honoured for colouring the lives of an average English speaking Malaysian for over the last thirty years. His contributions to bring Malaysians closer together are immense.

Thank you Dato’.

 

*An update as of Tuesday, 21 August 2007. It seemed that Girl-Girl did her own posting on Lat.

Melayu

“Melayu” - Usman Awang

Melayu itu orang yang bijaksana
Nakalnya bersulam jenaka
Budi bahasanya tidak terkira
Kurang ajarnya tetap santun
Jika menipu pun masih bersopan
Bila mengampu bijak beralas tangan.

Melayu itu berani jika benar
Kecut takut kerana bersalah,
Janji simpan di perut
Selalu pecah di mulut,
Biar mati anak

Jangan mati adat.

Melayu di tanah Semenanjung luas maknanya:
Jawa itu Melayu, Bugis itu Melayu
Banjar juga disebut Melayu, Minangkabau memang Melayu,
Keturunan Acheh adalah Melayu,
Jakun dan Sakai asli Melayu,
Arab dan Pakistani, semua Melayu
Mamak dan Malbari serap ke Melayu
Malah mua’alaf bertakrif Melayu
(Setelah disunat anunya itu)

Dalam sejarahnya
Melayu itu pengembara lautan
Melorongkan jalur sejarah zaman
Begitu luas daerah sempadan
Sayangnya kini segala kehilangan

Melayu itu kaya falsafahnya
Kias kata bidal pusaka
Akar budi bersulamkan daya
Gedung akal laut bicara

Malangnya Melayu itu kuat bersorak
Terlalu ghairah pesta temasya
Sedangkan kampung telah tergadai
Sawah sejalur tinggal sejengkal
tanah sebidang mudah terjual

Meski telah memiliki telaga
Tangan masih memegang tali
Sedang orang mencapai timba.
Berbuahlah pisang tiga kali
Melayu itu masih bermimpi

Walaupun sudah mengenal universiti
Masih berdagang di rumah sendiri.
Berkelahi cara Melayu
Menikam dengan pantun
Menyanggah dengan senyum
Marahnya dengan diam
Merendah bukan menyembah
Meninggi bukan melonjak.

Watak Melayu menolak permusuhan
Setia dan sabar tiada sempadan
Tapi jika marah tak nampak telinga
Musuh dicari ke lubang cacing
Tak dapat tanduk telinga dijinjing
Maruah dan agama dihina jangan
Hebat amuknya tak kenal lawan

Berdamai cara Melayu indah sekali
Silaturrahim hati yang murni
Maaf diungkap senantiasa bersahut
Tangan diulur sentiasa bersambut
Luka pun tidak lagi berparut

Baiknya hati Melayu itu tak terbandingkan
Selaga yang ada sanggup diberikan
Sehingga tercipta sebuah kiasan:
“Dagang lalu nasi ditanakkan
Suami pulang lapar tak makan
Kera di hutan disusu-susukan
Anak di pangkuan mati kebuluran”

Bagaimanakah Melayu abad dua puluh satu
Masihkan tunduk tersipu-sipu?
Jangan takut melanggar pantang
Jika pantang menghalang kemajuan;
Jangan segan menentang larangan
Jika yakin kepada kebenaran;
Jangan malu mengucapkan keyakinan
Jika percaya kepada keadilan.

Jadilah bangsa yang bijaksana
Memegang tali memegang timba
Memiliki ekonomi mencipta budaya
Menjadi tuan di negara Merdeka

 

 

This is, undoubtedly my most favourite Malay poem. It was written by a very talented poet, the late Dato’ Usman Awang (1929-2001). He received the national laureate award and stature in 1983. Also known by his pseudonym, Tongkat Warrant, too much was described in this poem.

He has produced other remarkable works. “Anak Jiran Tionghua” depicts the story of children living in a harmonious muhibbah state. “Tulang Tulang Berserakan” is his rendition to acknowledge the men and women in the Royal Malaysian Police service. Usman himself was a policeman, once.

Usman was a very patriotic man. His departure left an replacable void in the Malay literature kingdom. May Allah s.w.t. bless his soul.

Nobody does it better

Nobody does it better

Nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest,
Nobody does it half as good as you, baby, you’re the best.
I wasn’t lookin’ but somehow you found me.
I tried to hide from your love light,
But like heaven above me, the spy who loved me,
Is keeping all my secrets safe tonight.

Nobody does it better, sometimes I wish someone could.
Nobody does it quite the way you do. did you have to be so good?
The way that you hold me, whenever you hold me,
There’s some kind of magic inside you,
That keeps me from runnin’, but just keep it comin’,
How’d you learn to do the things you do?

And nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest.
Nobody does it half as good as you.
Baby, baby, baby you’re the best!

This Carly Simon rendition is the title track for the James Bond movie “The Spy Who Loved Me”, released by United Artists in 1977. This is my most favourite “Bond movie” song. It’s a typical nuovo-NY-jazzy-lounge-number, of its genre and I couldn’t agree more with “Chubby” Broccoli to have this number as the title track. It brought the suave and cool feature of the movie.

This the third movie for Roger Moore as Cdr. James Bond, Naval Intelligence Officer assigned as the MI 6 as an assassin. It also starred the luscious Barbara Bach as Major Anya Amasova, the KGB hitwoman and Curt Jurgens as the villain, shipping magnate Carl Stromberg. This is also the movie which introduces the baddie-side-kick Jaws played by Richard Kiel. I also love the Lotus Espirit / mini submarine, armed with mines and anti aircraft missile.

I was ten when my parents brought me to see this movie, at the Sentosa Cinema, Sect 17, Petaling Jaya.

Since we are on the topic of bond movie, my all time favourite bond movie are “The Moonraker”, “Tomorrow Never Dies” and “Die Another Day”. The three most favourite bondgirl are Maj. Anya Amasova played by Barbara Bach in “The Spy Who Loved Me”, Dr. Holly Goodhead played by Lois Chiles in “The Moonraker” and Melina Havelock played by Carole Bouquet in “For Eyes Only”.

My favourite ‘M’ is Dame Judi Dench. I think she did very well, especially against Admiral Sir Michael Roebuck, First Sea Lord of the Admiralty, played by Geofrrey Palmer, in “Tomorrow Never Dies”:

Adm. Roebuck: M, I don’t think you have the balls for the job!

M: I don’t have to think with them all the time

My favourite ‘Q’, the official bond techno-goodie supplier is played John Cleese. Cleese succeeded ‘Q’ played by long time ‘Q’ Desmond Llewelyn.

My favourite villain are Hugo Drax played by Michel Lonsdale in “The Moonraker”, Renard played by Rober Carlyle in “The World Is Not Enough” and Elliot Carver played by Jonathan Pryce in “Tomorrow Never Dies”. My most favourite baddie bond girl is Elektra King played by Sophie Marceau in “The World Is Not Enough”.

Its probably me!

If the night turned cold and the stars look down
And you’d hug yourself on the cold, cold ground
You wake the morning in a stranger’s coat
No one would you see
You’d ask yourself who’d watch me
My only friend who could it be

It’s hard to say I hate to say it
But it’s probably me

When your belly’s empty and the hunger’s so real
And you’re too proud to beg and too dumb to steal
You search the city for your only friend
And no one would you see
You’d ask yourself who’d watch for me
A solitary voice to speak out and set me free

I hate to say it I hate to say it
But it’s probably me

You’re not the easiest person I ever got to know
It’s hard for us both to let our feelings show
And some will say I should let you go your way
You only make me cry
But if there’s one guy just one guy
Who laid down his life for you and I

It’s hard to say I hate to say it
But it’s probably me

The world’s gone crazy and it makes no sense
There’s only one voice that comes to your defence
And the jury’s out and your eyes search the room
One friendly face is all you need to see
And if there’s on guy just one guy
Who laid down his life for you and I

It’s hard to say I hate to say it
But it’s probably me

WORDS AND MUSIC BY STING/ERIC CLAPTON/MICHAEL KAMEN

This is the theme song for “Lethal Weapon III” starring Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. I saw this, the first time in England, using my student union card, for the discounted ticket at the nearest cinemaplex (which is about three hundred yards or so from my school in the Sutherland Building).

Today is the exact 4 weeks I started this blog. As it was February, that makes it a whole month. I was feeling down when I started this. It was the Chinese New Year’s long weekend.

I guess the song depicts my emotions then. I know I am not easy to live with, but I guess, “Its probably me”. I learnt a lot in this long month. I lost some friends. I made some new ones. I lost my strength to ‘fight’. I regained my will to ‘fight’. I was misunderstood. I was misrepresented. I understood more about people. I understand me, more. I saw how real friends stood by. I saw how new friends open up new horizon. I felt the validations some of the old and new friends charged onto me. Faith in friendship restored. Most of all, I know how friends value me.

When I started this blog, I did say about the two important virtues in my life I treasured a lot; loyalty and friendship. I guess I learned a thing or two, new, about both. I also appreciate the surroundings that binds both, which affects me, direct or indirectly.

Now, that I am no longer at those deep abysses, I still feel that the lyric to this Sting’s song tells the story.

“The world’s gone crazy and it makes no sense
There’s only one voice that comes to your defence
And the jury’s out and your eyes search the room
One friendly face is all you need to see
And if there’s on guy just one guy
Who laid down his life for you and I

It’s hard to say I hate to say it
But it’s probably me”

I am so glad I had friends to weather me through this storm!

Thank you, guys……………..

The Bookshop

The door bell tinkles. “Good morning”

“Good morning, Sir. Can I help you?”

“Yes. Do you have a copy of “30 Days in the Samarkand Dessert with the Duchess of Kent” by A. E. J. Elliot, OBE?”

“Well, I don’t know the book, Sir”

“Never mind, never mind. How about “101 Ways To Start A Fight”?”

“By?”

“An Irish gentleman whose name eludes me for the moment”

“No….. well we haven’t got any in stock, Sir”

“Not to worry, not to worry. Can you help me with “David Coperfield“?”

“Aahhh, yes…. Dickens!”

“No”

“I beg your pardon?

“No, Edmund Wells”

“I think you’ll find Charles Dickens wrote “David Copperfield”

“No, no Charles Dickens wrote “David Copperfield” with two ‘Ps’. This is “David Coperfield” with one ‘P’ by Edmund Wells”

“David Coperfield” with one ‘P’?”

“I should have said”

“Well in that case, we don’t have it”

“Funny, you have lots of books here”

“Yes, we do but we don’t have any “David Coperfield” with one ‘P’ by Edmund Wells”

“Are you quite sure?”

“Quite”

“Not worth just looking?”

“Definitely not”

“How about “Grate Expectations”?”

“Yes, well we have that”

“That’s G-R-A-T-E Expectations also by Edmund Wells”

“In that case, we don’t have it. We don’t have anything by Edmund Wells, actually. He’s not very popular”

“Knickless Nickleby“?. That’s K-N-I-C-K-L-E-S-S”

“No”

“Christmas Karol” with a ‘K’?”

“No”

“How about “A Cale of Two Titties”?”

“Definitely not!”

“Sorry to trouble you”

“Good morning”

“Good morning. Ohh, I wonder you might have a copy of “Rarnaby Budge”?”

“As I said we are right out of Edmund Wells”

“No, not Edmund Wells. Charles Dikkens”

“Charles Dickens?”

“Yes”

“You mean “Barnaby Rudge”?”

“No, “Rarnaby Budge” by Charles Dikkens, with two ‘Ks’, the well known Dutch author?”

“No, we don’t have “Rarnaby Budge” by Charles Dikkens, with two ‘Ks’, the well known Dutch author. Perhaps to save time we don’t have I should add “Carnaby Fudge” by Dyles Chickens or “Farnborough Sludge” by Myles Pickens or even “Stidwick Stapples” Fyles Wickens with four ‘Ms’ and a silent ‘Q’! Why don’t you try W H Smith’s?”

“I did, they sent me here”

“Did they?”

“I wonder…….”

“Ohh, do go on, please!”

“I wonder you might have “The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoke-Pamphlet & Her Intrepid Spaniels Steed Amongst The Giant Pygmies of Beckhalls, Volume VIII”?”

“No, we don’t have that. Funny, we have a lot of books here. Well, I mustn’t keep you standing here”

“Do you have….”

“Sorry, no, its one o’clock now!”

“I saw it over there!”

“What? What?”

“I saw it over there. “Olsen’s Standard Book of British Birds”

“Olsen’s Standard Book of British Birds”?”

“Yes”

“O-L-S-E-N?”

“Yes”

“B-I-R-D-S”

“Yes”

“Yes, well we do have that’s, a matter of fact…..”

“The expurgated version!”

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that….”

“The expurgated version”

“The expurgated version of “Olsen’s Standard Book of British Birds”?”

“The one without the Gannet”

“The one without the Gannet? They all got the Gannet! It’s a standard British bird. Gannet is in all the books”

“Well I don’t like them. They wet their nest”

“Alright, I remove it!” Rippppppppppppp “Any other birds you don’t like?”

“I don’t like the Robin”

“The Robin? Right” Rippppppppppppppp “There you are. Any others you don’t like?”

“The Nut Hedge” Rippppppppppppppp “There you are. No Gannets! No Robin! No Nut Hedges!There’s you book!”

“I cant buy that! Its torn. I wonder if you have……”

“Go on. Ask me anything! We got lots of books here, you know. It’s a book shop”

“How about “Biggles Combs His Hair”?”

“No, we don’t have that one”

“The Gospel According Charlie Drake”?”

“No, no, try me again”

“Ohhh….I know, “Ethel The Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying”

“No, no……what, what???”

“Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying”

“Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying”?” Hysterical laughter “I’ve seen it somewhere!” Further hysterical laughter “Yes, yes, here we are. “Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying”. There’s your book. Now, buy it!”

“I don’t have enough money”

“I’ll take a deposit”

“I don’t have any money!”

“I’ll take a checque”

“I don’t have a checque book”

“I’ll take a blank one!”

“I don’t have a bank account”

“Right! I’ll buy it for you!” The till rings. “There you are. There’s the change. There’s some money for the taxi home. There’s the book!”

“Wait!”

“What? What? What????”

“I can’t read!”

“You can’t read? Right! Sit down! Sit, sit. Are you sitting comfortably? Right. Ethel the Aardvark was hoping down the river valley…….”

 

 

This is the funniest sketch I ever heard, on the radio. It stars John Cleese as the Bookshop Keeper and Michael Palin as the Resiliently Irritating Customer. This was first aired during their magnificent “Monty Python Flying Circus” comedy stints, very popular in the UK in the 70s and early 80s.

I share this with my darling daughter since she was eight (the Missus is always too preoccupied with her work preparations). This hilarious sketch got her interested into the classics’ reading habit (she already started the reading habit on Enid Blyton when she was five-ish and at eight, Nancy Drew mysteries). It’s a great manner to start a school going child into reading some of the things I read 30 years ago.

This is where it shows the Brits really can show you their politeness, that it becomes an insult! They are so cultured that they patiently play along by being a gentleman, just to get back at you, after you are worn down.

I first heard this sketch whilst on Malaysia Airlines (my trusted inter-continental carrier), in one of my trips home from London (the comedy channel is a favourite on the London-Australian sector). It was a great entertainment on the dreadful 13 hour non-stop flight home (the aircraft had to avoid certain sector in West Asia because of pre-“Dessert Storm” days). I really enjoyed this, a lot!

A recommended listening pleasure.

 

Hairy Maclary from Donaldson’s Dairy

Out of the gate
and off for a walk
went Hairy Maclary
from Donaldson’s Dairy

and Hercules Morse
as big as a horse
with Hairy Maclary
from Donaldson’s Dairy

Bottomley Potts
covered in spots,

Hercules Morse
as big as a horse
and Hairy Maclary
from Donaldson’s Dairy

Muffin McLay
like a bundle of hay,

Bottomley Potts
covered in spots,
Hercules Morse
as big as a horse
and Hairy Maclary
from Donaldson’s Dairy

Bitzer Maloney
all skinny and bony,

Muffin McLay
like a bundle of hay,
Bottomley Potts
covered in spots,
Hercules Morse
as big as a horse
and Hairy Maclary
from Donaldson’s Dairy

Schnitzel Von Krumm
with a very low tum,

Bitzer Maloney
all skinny and bony,
Muffin McLay
like a bundle of hay,
Bottomley Potts
covered in spots,
Hercules Morse
as big as a horse
and Hairy Maclary
from Donaldson’s Dairy

With tails in air
they trotted on down
past the shops and the park
to the far end of town.

They sniffed at the smells
and snooped at each door
when suddenly,
out of the shadows
they
saw….

SCARFACE CLAW
the toughest Tom
in
town.

“EEEEEOWWWFFTZ!”
said Scarface Claw.

Of with a yowl
a wail and a howl,
a scatter of paws
and a clatter of claws,
went Schnitzel Von Krumm
with a very low tum,
Bitzer Maloney
all skinny and bony,
Muffin McLay
like a bundle of hay,
Bottomley Potts
covered in spots,
Hercules Morse
as big as a horse
and Hairy Maclary
from Donaldson’s Dairy,
straight back home
to bed!

Dodd, L., Puffin Books

We got our dear Girl-Girl this book when she was hardly four; March 2000, to be precise. I was made to read this book so often enough, I actually loved it! Its about a pack of typical English countryside dogs (Hey, I call myself BigDogDotCom, okay!) , trotting about doing their thingy. I am dedicating this poem for all the readers who have and treasure the little ones’ attention, that they share the special little precious moments by reading, together.