Kangkung Consolidated Bhd

They say whenever a problem presents itself, there would be opportunity opened up for it. In the recent growing grouses of increased rise of price of goods and services of almost across the board, Prime Minister Dato’ Sri Mohd. Najib Tun Razak is glad to announce the market price of some goods is actually going down.

It has been learned that Khazanah National Bhd. will be venturing into kangkung in the plantation scale as an extension to Prime Minister Najib’s specific mention on how the most common South East Asian vegetable’s price at the market has gone down.

This shall provide a new major opportunity for the commercialisation of seemingly the most favourite vegetable in the region.

However, the project would not be executed and rolled out without the usual modus operandi of getting very expensive consultants to look into the idea, develop a suitable proposal and several alternative proposals, PEMANDU doing the necessary projection evaluation and transformation impact assessment and eventually CIMB doing the over all plan for IPO listing and exit.

It is probably would be known as Kangkung Consolidated Bhd. upon listing. The initial targeted kangkung plantations size is expected to be 100,000 acres. Several key strategic partners have shown termendous interest, especially when government-guaranteed financing would be made available as this would be classified as a ‘Consolidated High Impact Priority Economic Transformation Project’ or CHIPET.

A synergy business track would also be created by Khazanah to go into krill and shrimp farming. This is part of the restructuring of the prawn business that Khazanah went in, sometime back. Eventually, the two corporations could be amalgamated and consolidated.

An initial salvo of on over all strategy for the kangkung consumption

An initial salvo of an overall strategy for the kangkung consumption

Several kangkung-based end products have been thrown in and discussed at certain quarters within PMO, although it is believed that those are still premature. What is commendable is the speed of Special Officers within PMO responding to the issues raised by the rakyat, especially in social media network and blogs.

Prime Minister Najib’s acknowledgement of the market price of kangkung would be the catalyst for more consumption. A special task force lead by soon-to-be named a senior PMO aide and hand-picked team is to provide for the kangkung comprehensive business push-factor strategy.

The Federal Government would eventually need to work with relevant State Governments for this agriculture-based commercial end-to-end project to work and be productive. The commitment and co-operation is necessary for initiatives such as gazzetting all longkangs and drains for kangkung growing.

This should be seen as nothing less than a brilliant business strategy, capitalising and commercialising on the ‘created demand’ due to rising cost of living of late.

*Updated 2300hrs

Published in: on January 13, 2014 at 19:30  Comments (28)  

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28 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Lab, lab – don’t forget the laboratory.

    Bloody Kangkong…

  2. Big Dog now has become Hussin Lempoyang. Great article. You make my day. Salam Maulidul Rasul.

    Regards,

    CTS Kangkung

  3. and some kangkung – kita masak lomak cili api – gerenti sodap!!

  4. Kangkung lab headed by pm kangkung

  5. Kangkung salai, kangkung dried freeze, salted kangkung …all can be experimented in the Pemandu lab. Volunteers can be called in to do kangkung tasting.

    Another hilarious faux pas on the part of PM. The speech again shows how disconnected he is with the economic woes faced by the people and sulking about people not thankful to the govt. The quality of his speech can best be described as ‘ kangkung quality’. A sad day for Malaysia’s politics in general and UMNO in particular.

    • From that speech too you can tell that he have no idea whatsoever how much seikat or a kati or a kg of kangkung cost. He seems to pause as if he is about to make a comparison how much kangkung used to cost before and how much it is today but he pull back.

      But then again elok lah tu, Play safe again as usual. I supposed it is better then if he says something like “Dulu… harga kangkung Seringgit sekilo, sekarang dah turun ke 50 sen sekilo..”. I am quite sure somebody is going to throw an egg or two to his face.

      p/s I bet Rosmah know how much a Birkin bag cost before and after he became PM.

  6. I heard Khazanah has been offered to work closely with Temasek to develop thus popular South East Asian vege.

    The end game is where the product would be patented and globally known as ‘Singapore spinach’.

  7. BD,

    A brilliant satire!

    Totally hilarious. Hopefully those PMO advisers and Pemandus get the punt.

    Rakyat is really tired of facing shrinking of the Ringgit and Najib and his cohort of incredibly stupid ministers like Hassan menteri ayam, Ku Nan and Mat Maslan are ridiculing and insulting our intelligence.

  8. Sir, as any good doctor will tell us that eating too much kangkung will give us muscle cramps ! Why did’nt the consultants advise our good Prime Minister to mention durians instead ! At least, all the males in our beloved Malaysia will vote for him due to the plentiful supply of low price durians !

  9. Wow kangkung is now in the league of celebrity veggie in the region.! Not only in Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Singapore, Philippines, Vietnam but also as far as in US and kangkung from Thailand is also available in the Asian restaurants in London, Wellington, Sydney and other favourite tourists destination.

    My daughter lives in Hangzhou, China and we have started to plant kangkung during summer, autumn and spring. In Thailand and Vietnam, kangkung is eaten raw with a special concoction of chilli sauce. Kangkung has a high level of iron and also acts as an anti-oxidation agent to kill the bad cancer cells in our body.

    Finally, FAMA or the Agro Ministry should join venture with Khazanah and cultivate kangkung in a big commercial way for export. However, Malaysia is still backward and poor in our distribution and logistic system to export fresh veggies, fruits and other greens directly to US, Canada, New Zealand, UK, Australia which have a big market for veggies and fruits from Asian countries. We need to study the distribution and export logistics by the Thai government and their public export entities in aggressive trading.

    • I thought you are Mustapha Ong, your son is Omar Ong, living in Malaysia, and your daughter is Khatijah Ong, but wonder why she is living in Hangzhou, China?

      And you said “we” have started to plant kangkung during summer ..? You also living in China? Wonder why. None of our business but you advertised it in here. Maybe you have enough of what you want out of Malaysia, eh?

      Don’t realize the satire in the post article, do you?

  10. Saya cadangkan DSNR dinobatkan sebagai Bapa Kangkung Malaysia

  11. BD, I am willing to PayPal you for this article! Good one bro!

    p.s. only if PEMANDU can suggest we now can pay toll by offering kangkung!

  12. Pak Lah legacy is “tidor”
    Ah Jib legacy is “kangkung”.

    How I envy them both.

  13. Najib should personally be taking more kangkung. Then he can be like Popeye. He’d be able to take anything, thrown against him.

    Coincidentally, PM is also the acronym for Popeye Man.

    • Just that Popeye eats bayam ( spinach) not kangkung.

  14. Biggie,

    Just heard that PMO has gone helter-skelter working throughout the night burning the midnight oil for this.

    A new outfit under PM’s Dept would be instituted called Kangkung Talent Corp. Initial RM80m would be set aside to flag off the search for best kangkung growers and chefs around the world and to be brought here.

    Wisma Putra has been advised to provide a bouquet of kangkung instead of flowers when foreign leaders’ wives or consort are formally received.

    MINDEF would be placing a substantial order the new digital camouflage ware for the army and all special forces units using the kangkung motive.

    A Kangkung Museum and Tourist Centre would be build and Dr Rais Yatim would head this special project.

    On top of RTM starting to greet using “Salam 1 Kangkung”, Azeez Rahim been asked to incept Kelab Putra 1 Kangkung and a new movement for the youths 1M4K would also be launched.

    Most importantly, Athos Capital would spearhead the new Global Kangkung Centre where kangkung would be strategised as a new global commodity. A new SPV known as CIMB-Kangkung Inc would be opened in New York soon.

    Also heard Hassan Malek, Ku Nan, Shahidan Kassim, Ahmad Maslan and Idris Haron have been instructed to be key members on the Cabinet Committee on Kangkung. Their first project is preparing Najib the Felinist’s speech about “Kangkung as the New Global Commodity” at Davos, in a few weeks time. Lenggang-Kangkung-gay-boy would co-ordinate the final draft.

    Then they would hold a Global Summit on Kangkung in PICC. World leaders would be invited and expected for this important summit of the decade.

    There would also be a separate Women International Forum on Kangkung. A few VVIP jets is said to already have been prepped for the booking to ferry them and the charter company has agreed to have the kangkung theme as livery for these aircrafts.

    A new Hollywood picture company has just been formed late Monday evening and their first project is said to be “King Kang Kong Lives”. The director is probably award winning Baron Sacha Cohen although someone from China would likely be given the project.

    Well done, Najib the Felinist. Kangkung the nation’s economic saviour-catalyst!

  15. Ura-ura PM akan umumkan program Consolidated High Impact Priority Economic Transformation Project atau CHIPET selepas pengumuman penubbuhan Kangkung Consolidated Bhd.

    Ini ekoran kerisauan PM dengan kenyataan Dato Idris Kangkong bahawa negara akan bankrupt tanpa bekalan kangkong yang cukup.

    Penasihat PM, Dato Omar Kangk-Ong telah diarah melibatkan diri. Ethos Con-kangkong diserahkan tanggungjawab untuk memanggil con-kangkong yg lain seperti McKangkong & co., Frost & Kangkong, Booze, Kangkong and Hamilton, Boston Con-kangkong Group, dll untuk menyelia makmal kangkong terbesar bag merangka satu strategi masa depan industri kangkkang Malaysia.

    Mereka juga perlu sediakan bahan untuk Idris Kangkong buat powerpoint presentation berkenaan bekalan dan permintaan kangkong dulu, kini, dan selamanya dalam era New Economic Kangkong dan High Income Kangkong.

    Ini perlu kerana Idris Kangkong bukan graduan dalam ijazah EKonomi Kangkong tetapi dalam ijazah Komunikasi Kangkong. Peranannya hanya permudahkan penerangan supaya kelihatan macam jual kangkong di pasar.

    Sebahagan dari peranan Con-Kangkong yang dilantik dengan bayaran ratusan juta lori berisi kangkang adalah juga untuk merangka National Kangkong Result Asessment (NKRA), National Kangkong Economic Area (NKEA), and Kangkong’s Entry Point Project (EPP).

    • CHIPET…..I thought CHIPSET…..baru la high income bro!

      Ha ha ha.. ooops I fell off my chair….

      and it made a funny racket which sounds like ‘kong kang kong kang kong kang…..’

      tolooong…

  16. I love this piece Bro B..zo! Keep it up!

  17. Can’t Wait till Roti Jala price comes down!

    • Sorry Bro, Jala only knows how to price his Roti up, not down….

  18. And now all the Cinapek sayur will start holding the supply of kangkung & the price of kangkung will go up. To fight the rising cost of kangkung, Najib will establish the 1Malaysia Bantuan Keluarga Kangkung (1M BANGKANG). All the kampung people will then proceed to menang sorak, kampung tergadai.

  19. What? Kangkong to replace Palm Oil as Malaysia’s major export to the world? At last Pemandu has come up with a geliga idea!
    The Malaysian Commodities Market better get ready to set up the Kangkong Counter in readiness for trading on this commodity.

  20. Both Pak Lelah and Najib Lembik somehow deteriorated after assuming PMship.

    Something’s not normal. Close people have been allowed to have their hands in the cookie jar.

    • A leader’s true mettle and strength of character and true resilience can only be gauged when faced with challenges usually at a macro level. Macro level because it involves an aggregate of problems that require quick and precise interception and intervention. This can only be done by a true leader who has vast knowledge and ideas that click inside his own mind, and has the courage and skills to translate them into tangible plan of action; not from external push done by advisers especially by incompetent advisers. That separates true leaders from ordinary and mediocre ones. We
      have been saddled with mediocre ones since 2004.

  21. I have no problem having Kangkong as part of my daily diets. It helps to increase my good cholesterol level. Kangkong sotong delicacy balance up the level of good and bad cholesterols in our diets. If it is cheaper, why not?

    In fact, Kangkong leaves and stems are very nutritious. I was told Kangkong is naturally rich in fiber and plenty of vitamins. If you don’t have Anwar as your intimate and intermit friend, the regular intakes of Kangkong is good for you suffering from constipation.

  22. […] That brought about a series of viral punts against him using the kangkung motive. […]


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